One Tuesday, Manny set out to see his Aunt Gretchen. Now Gretchen had a sweet tooth and always appreciated it when Manny brought her some chocolate covered raisins. But on this particular day, Manny got hungry and ate all the chocolate covered raisins. Before he knew it, they were all gone.

Manny was sad. How could he face his aunt without any chocolate covered raisins? Would she understand? Or would she yell at him and call him a toaster, which was a very bad thing to be called in Manny’s family, since toasters stole bread and returned it all burned.

Manny didn’t want to find out. So, he rushed over to a grocery store and tried to buy some chocolate covered raisins. But the store clerk told Manny he needed money to buy the raisins and kicked him out when all he had to offer was a crumpled page of last week’s Reader’s Digest.

Since he didn’t have money and it was too late to go back home and get raisins, Manny decided to head over to the monkey enclosure at the zoo to ask the monkeys if they would grant him a wish. You see, Manny wasn’t all that bright.

The zoo was free to the public on Tuesdays, so Manny didn’t have to pay to get inside, which was good, because as stated before, he was broker than a bald hair tonic salesman. Unless you count his crumpled page of Reader’s Digest, but the rest of the world doesn’t, as unfair as that might seem.

Manny headed into the zoo and straight to the monkey house, where all the little simians were screaming and carrying on and throwing things that are best not mentioned at each other. He picked the monkey house lock, a clever trick his cousin Floyd taught him on one of his many visits home between prison.

The monkeys rushed over to Manny as he climbed into the enclosure. But he never got the chance to ask them if they would be willing to grant him any wishes, because he was too busy being torn apart by mentally unstable monkeys.

The moral of this story: Don’t eat all your aunt’s chocolate covered raisins or you will be eaten alive by monkeys.